You know that thing we all long for but is a complete dream of the past or future. A dream of "before we had kids" or "someday when we have more money", "more time".
I may have mentioned this before (once or twice) that Emmaus is a terrible sleeper. Its a TS thing (DEAR GOD LET IT BE A TS THING- new baby needs to sleep like typical kid). They often just can't "turn off"their minds, thus they don't sleep or rest well.
Tonight as I laid with her as she fell asleep she was just restless. She would toss and turn, she was tired, but her mind would just not let her rest. Until finally out of sheer exhaustion (after 10pm) she just passed out.
I couldn't help but find the similarity of her restlessness to our lives. Dan and I are busy. We both work, we have activities we are apart of, we have church, friends, a special needs kiddo that has therapies, and doctors appointments, we have household chores, meals to cook, (the list goes on for days). So when we finally have a break, our minds, bodies, don't know how to rest. We are restless. And then eventually out of sheer exhaustion we pass out.
We hit rock bottom, we fight because we packed our schedules, didn't communicate, we weren't on the same page, and we were spread too thin.
I feel like if Dan and I do something well it is manage our money. We aren't perfect at it, but we work really hard to plan a budget, stick to it (mostly), save money, live debt free.
BUT WE SUCK AT MANAGING OUR TIME.
We pack our schedule as full as possible and then wonder why we don't have any time. I have been really challenged by a friend to be accountable with our time.
So this weekend I sat down and wrote out our schedule. Took time to put down everything down on paper so It can be clear.
To plan evenings of nothing.
(No running errands, mowing the lawn last minute or having an "oh I forgot we are suppose to...")
We are learning to weed things out- things we say yes to, with good intention- because it sounds fun, but in the end is completely overwhelming because we need rest.
We are learning to rest. To guard our time. To say no to invites.
I know this might seem like a lot of saying no, but in the end it leaves room for impromptu gatherings.
Evenings of rest because we planned well.
It allows our work schedules to seem less overwhelming-because our time off is well planned.
I don't want our time to be restless- to pass out in sheer exhaustion because we never "turn off".
We have a long way to go. But this is a start.
In the next few months, year even as we adjust to me working a little more, and a new baby I want to become as responsible with our time as we are with our money.
I want to rest well- and I am not talking about sleep.
(Cause lets face it- sleep is probably not bountiful in our near future- and while that is a bummer I am guessing rest will be easier to obtain, and just as important)