Monday, August 10, 2009

Random thoughts for today

I am feeling inspired to write. 

During some of my most formative years I dated a guy that always treated me like I wasn't good enough. It was a very unhealthy overly dependent relationship for both of us. The things he said to me still swim through my head. He once told me I am a "cute girl" but not the kinda girl that guys turn their heads to look at. Or something close to that. I find it odd that the things he chose to think were inferior in me are things that I cannot change. I remember him saying that he would be really disappointed if I gained weight after I had kids.  THANK GOD I DID NOT HAVE KIDS WITH HIM... Not to say I plan on gaining 100 pounds or something but isn't a woman's body changing at least some what inevitable? 
I was listening to the radio on the way home tonight and a song came on about a woman who "looks so much better without him" I cannot agree more. I feel confident in myself now. (It helps that I have a very encouraging husband who loves me for me) I can stand in front of the mirror on most days and like what I see. I am not self conscious about the way I act or what I wear. I do have my melt downs and "fat days" however on the whole I like myself. 
I am so thankful for being able to see the truth about myself. Not only has Dan helped me find me again, but looking into the Word and what God says about me is also a wonderful way to love yourself. 
I wish all those girls out there that are not loved the way they should be could see the truth about themselves. 

Side note Mira and I have started a running program. It feels good to get back out there and run again. I say I am doing if for her good...however I am sure that is just a mind game I am playing with myself. 
We have run four days now. I got new shoes and then  aquired two new blisters after todays run. But my back isn't hurting so its an even trade. I am having to walk some in between. But we have been running at least a mile each day. I would say we ran 1.5 today. We found a pond down the path that she LOVES to swim swimming for me =).