Reflections on 2016

I feel I would be amiss to not reflect on 2016. While I haven’t done much blogging this year it is a goal to blog a bit more for the next. 

While the masses count 2016 a terrible year and even for us personally it has been rough. I can’t help but be grateful as we exit 2016. 

This year has held a lot of change for our little family, in the midst of hard things, I am proud of Dan and I stepping out in faith, selling our house, and moving to live next door to friends to work on intentional community. That was hard. It wasn’t the smoothest of transitions, our families thought we were crazy, but we knew it was the right choice for us. 

Dan rocked his Insurance licensure exams in the midst of Emmaus being in the ICU. And successfully changed careers this summer. 

As I reflect while it is intertwined with hard things, more it is a reflection on the the growth that has occurred this year. 

This year I learned that my child is not mine to keep. That I must be willing to submit her life (all of their lives I suppose) to the Lord. To hold them openly in the palm of my hand, and trust that even through the darkest nights God will not leave me alone. 

I have learned that my family stretches far beyond those who I share DNA with. And we have people who will show up. To pray. To mow. To bring caffeine. To sit with a very unsettled child in the middle of the night to give us a break. 

This year I have begun to focus on what it looks like to the be healthiest version of myself possible. Instead of thinking I am super-human and need not pay attention to my own needs, I have started focusing on my physical and mental well being.  I am working on good boundaries, clear communication, and physical health. We have started to rest weekly as a family. To pace ourselves, to give ourselves permission to slow down. I am learning have to take care of myself if I am going to be a pillar for my family, and strong for my girls. 

I have spent half the year with an amazing counselor processing everything from the foundations I learned in my childhood, to major differences that are had in some of my adult relationships. Processing grief, loss and why I feel alone when clearly I am not.  Really plowing the ground of my heart, emotions, and spiritual life to allow fresh rain to fall on it. 

I have traveled a lot this year. Which, if you know me well breathes life straight into my soul. I went to New York to advocate, teach and meet some wonderful other TS warrior mamas. I took a trip with my Mom, Shiloh and sister-in-law Sarah to California. Dan and I got an amazing get away to a five star resort in the ozark with some of the best food that I have ever eaten. And we took the most magical family vacation this December. 2016 converted me to a Disney Lover. I see many more trips in our future. 

I have started working with a new ministry, my contribution primarily being on their social media side. 

While 2016 has held some of my deepest, darkest, hardest moments. I am so proud of all that has happened as well. In fact, I feel like I dominated this year. Wasn’t always fun, or easy, but overall it was good!