Boogers, Poop, and Work Clothes.

Today I spent probably five minutes trying to scrape a booger off the pantry door. Why the heck was there a booger on the pantry door? As I chatted with my best friend about my lengthy booger scraping session she said she once tried to scrape a multitude of boogers off her daughters wall with a paint scraper, and it turns out if you spray salt water on them they reconstitute into wet boogers and wipe right off. That woman seriously knows everything. It's kinda magic. (You're welcome for that tip-courtesy of her of course)
Tonight as Shiloh was sitting on the potty screaming "I DON'T HAVE TO POOP!!" (Even though she  had been doing the poop dance for an hour) she unrolled the ENTIRE roll of toilet paper. THE WHOLE ROLL. Oh and of course she's sitting on the potty without a stitch of clothing on cause it is the rule of two year olds everywhere that it is impossible to use the bathroom while wearing clothes. She then proceeded to try to negotiate TWO suckers if she pooped. Defeated I agreed to whatever she wanted if for the LOVE of all that is good and holy she would just poop. She earned exactly zero suckers.
Whenever we go out I take our diaper bag which is my college backpack so that we can fit all the stuff we need for three tiny humans. Sounds like a good idea huh? Well how is it every single time we are out the baby poops out of her diaper? I'm serious- how is that possible? And every single time I do not have a single diaper for her. And I have no wipes. In fact it turns out the diaper bag actually only has a pair of socks, 18 month pants (which no one has fit in for over a year) and a 4T t-shirt. Oh and an orange that is now petrified into some sort of potpourri or something. And lots of crumbs. Oh and I found a pair of Shiloh's shoes that had been MIA for about a month. (I will give myself a little credit- I do have Emmaus' emergency seizure med in the backpack - which even if I never have wipes- I do ALWAYS have that)
Today I literally wiped spit up off my baby with a sock I found in my car that one of my other children had at some point taken off. Because I couldn't even find a napkin.
I truly used to be much more organized. But that was back when I only had one child. I am not organized by nature so it's just gone downhill with each baby.
This morning as we tried to give Emmaus her meds (she's currently on a med strike so it's SUPER fun to give her all her meds) Dan put her on his lap, and when he lifted her off when we were done he was covered in oatmeal that had been stuck to her bottom that we hadn't noticed. Which leads me to this reality- whenever I get dressed for work it is only a matter of minutes before someone comes and wipes snot on me or the baby spits up on me. I can stay in PJ's all day and that never happens- I put on work clothes- BAM. SNOT EVERYWHERE.  (Luckily it's just scrubs and I'm probably gonna go to work and get snot on me anyway- but seriously. every.single.time)

I often find myself just standing in my living room thinking "Is this really my life? What is going on right now?"
I don't even know why I'm writing about this right now. Although-If you have a kid, and definitely if you have more than one you can probably relate.
So my serious questions are.
1. Why is there so much snot in parenting?
2. Doesn't it get cold stripping down to your birthday suit every time you go potty?
3. Does anyone have an actually good diaper bag system? (And I mean someone who has multiple kids- non of which are self sufficient- and all wear different sizes ect)
4. I know you are judging a little for wiping my kid up with sock- yeah it's okay- I am too.

That's all. It's almost the weekend people. Hang in there!



  1. This made me LOL for real. Parenting is gross. There's always way too much bodily fluids getting on everything.

  2. I have totally done the sock thing before, you are not alone!


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