Reflections from 20.

I have been thinking a lot about turning 30. I didn't realize how much it would make me think about all that happened in my 20's. So I thought in honor of entering the next decade of my life I would share a few of the major things I learned in the last.
Overall I think my 20's was a decade of beginnings. I began a career, a marriage, and parenthood. I believe my 30's will focus a lot on growing these things.
So here we go- things I've learned.

On Love
Don't make someone your priority if you are just their option. No matter how hard you try, you cannot make someone love you the way you love them. Loving them really well does not mean they will love you well. Sometimes it is really hard, but walking away is probably the right choice.

Love is not a feeling- it is a choice. You have to wake up every day and CHOOSE to love your spouse. And if you can find someone who is willing to do the same with you, who you really enjoy, and who makes you happy. MARRY THEM. IMMEDIATELY.

On Money
Don't owe people money. Not the car people, or the student loan people, or the people at VISA, CHASE, AMX or MASTERCARD. Or your mom or dad, or sweet little grandma. Just don't owe people money. Work hard. Pay off the money you owe, and then don't owe people money ever again. It's weird to be debt free- and it's amazing.

Give your money away generously. If someone needs something and you can, buy it for them. Skip starbucks, resturaunts, and other luxuries- take care of the people around you. (And then they will take care of you too)

Prepare for the unknown- IE unforseen medical expenses- yes it stinks to spend your savings on medical expenses, but not having the added stress of not knowing where the money will come from is kinda a big deal.

On Sickness/ Loss
Sickness happens. Genetic disorders happen. Autism happens. People die.  It wasn't "Gods plan". In fact, HIS plan didn't include sickness- because he didn't intend for this world to be a place of sin and brokeness. However, it is. Sickness just happens. It's not your fault. Just do your best with the card's you've been dealt. Try to learn and grown and prosper in all circumstances. Cry when you need to. Be a comforter to others when that is called for. When you feel like you might drown "Just keep swimming".

On Rest/Work
Work from your Rest. Make having a day of rest a TOP priority in your life. Four hours of doing something that seems restful to you once a week can make all the difference- more than four hours- is seriously amazing! When I say have a day of rest- I mean PUT IN ON OUR CALENDAR- and schedule around it, it is that important.
It is okay to say no to things. An overly packed calendar doesn't really mean a fuller life, just a busier one.

On God
God loves me so incredibly much. He wants good things for me. And even if my plan, and what happens are really really different, it doesn't change the goodness of God. There aren't many constants in life. But the truth that God Loves me, and He wants good things for me are some that never change.

In general
Be kind to others- you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
Be honest. (While still being kind)
Be generous.



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