un-done

They say a picture is worth one thousand words. 

I love this picture and it is hard to look at. Because to me it tells such a raw and personal story. It symbolizes the amazing beauty, paramount potential and Isolation that is our road with Emmaus.

She is beautiful. Standing alone, moving forward even. Looking at a vast space of potential. A space that holds many obstacles, much progress, and even danger. A place that a little girl easily could get lost if not navigated with the greatest of care.  She is brave to stand alone. Confident. And yet, what truly gets me in this picture is that she is unknown. You can tell things about her. That she is little, that is brave, and confident, you assume she is beautiful. But she is unknown. A mystery because she isn't facing the camera.

This picture wrecks me. It undoes me. Because this is my reality. I am guiding my sweet child, my beautiful girl through so many obstacles, a land of potential, yet, that holds so many dangers. And I am doing all this without truly knowing her. She is a mystery to me in so many ways. I know her preferences, but not her needs or desires.
As I guide her I am confident I am doing my very best- but it usually falls so very very short. And we end in a puddle of mutual frustration. Mutual grieving.  A place of such deep isolation. Myself as a mother that cannot possibly cure what truly is troubling my girl. A little girl so isolated in her inability to communicate or even sort through why she is upset.

Lately we have been rocking. Whenever she gets upset I rock her and sing to her. It is a simple place where I can meet her. Provide calm.
It is a sacred place where we find peace together. Where for just few minutes our inability to connect and our isolation fade away and we can just BE. TOGETHER.








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Comments

  1. She is a beauty. And she is known. She is known intimately and specifically. She does not go unseen.
    You are a great mama. You are doing a great job. You're my hero. We are with you.

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