Last evening at a meeting I was at a guy was talking about assuming the best in people. And he used the example of his wife. So he said “When my wife says something that grates on me, I go ahead and pre-forgive that (or basically letting it roll off his back) and assume that she stands in a place of loving me, and wanting the best for me. Not in a place to offend me.”
Lately I have had trouble believing that God wants the best for me. Not that he wants harm for me, we just have been walking through so much it is easy for me to begin to believe that because things have been so hard, that God must not truly care, that he won’t come through. And when people have been reminding me lately “God will provide” I can’t help but hear a voice in my head that says “But will he really?”
Last night Emmaus got up at 2am. She has gotten up every night this week. Sometimes sad, sometimes hyper and happy, but last night she was angry. She was biting herself, pulling her hair, and hitting herself in the face. This is so much harder than hyper or sad. It feels hopeless. As I lay next to her the only thing that would calm her down was my praying for her aloud. After I had prayed I started saying scriptures I had memorized to her.
The one I said most was the 23 psalm.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He Makes me to lie down in green pastures: he Leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul:
he leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
That last part got me thinking. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. “
In the life I am living I would say goodness and mercy sometimes are camouflaged in the middle of the night play sessions, the seizures, crazy therapy schedules, the frustration of a non-verbal 3 year old, and money being tight. And sometimes it doesn’t seem so “good” or so “merciful”.
I love that it says “surely” it assumes God has good planned. The author is basically saying “Well of course” or “without a doubt”.
And while I know God is good, loving and kind- believing that SURELY he has goodness and mercy planned in the middle of the big messy stuff we have in our lives is a reminder I needed.
Isn't that fresh air? Surely Goodness and mercy will follow me.