When I get super stressed I have amnesia. I swear. Is this common? Anyone?

We haven't had bread all week. And yet there are so many things running through my head I can't remember to write it down. I look for bread, we are out and by the time I go to write it down I am on to something else and I forget that I needed to write it down. I hate being this overwhelmed because it turns my attention span to that of a gnat and I forget everything. Its out of control .
Today I actually wrote a to-do list with two things on it. And I only did one- cause I forgot to do the other. The reason the to-do list was so short was because I couldn't remember what I needed to do.... Seriously. Stress. Makes me go blank.
I was brushing my hair and stopped to do something else- and later went to put on make up just to realize I only had completed half my hair brushing task- I mean a 1 min task I can't complete because I am too distracted? Lord help me
I mean- my kids got fed, and I think I brushed their teeth? Maybe? I know I brushed mine while giving the LONGEST phone survey known to man about our last hospital admission.... I thought it was the neurologist calling or I wouldn't have answered- lets be honest. Oh- and I showered. that is a major WIN!

I have been researching. So many meds, so many options, so many decisions to be made. I never in all my wildest dreams thought being an adult, a parent would be so real. So hard. That the decisions we make daily would be so huge.

And I am forced to deal with the simple fact, that as of right now- nothing- NOTHING (on earth) will cure Emmaus.  Palliative- now that is a concept I despise. No cure, just treating symptoms of an illness. Praying for a breakthrough. A cure.

It has been a hard week. Lots of seizures. And a new school for Emmaus. I had no clue it would be so different from TLC and right now I am missing TLC something fierce. She immediately belonged there. And this- is different. It is big, and institutionalized, and impersonal.  I need to give it more time. I'm aware. Just right now- that in itself seems like a task.
Everything does.

Praying that tomorrow I wake up clear, and focused and ready to bust it because we are celebrating our baby Shi turning one this weekend. And I have done nothing. So sad really. I love parties, and planning. And first birthdays for fat babies.
I mean- I can't remember what I need to do- so the productivity is at a minimum.
I did work out more than once this week, and ate less candy than usual. So win, win?



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