Not your typical resolution

Tonight at church a worship song we sang had this line repeated over and over
"We wait for you to come and show your glory here tonight"

As we sung the words, and the music swelled and the voices of those around me grew stronger I couldn't help but melt into those words and let the phrase penetrate my soul.

In our life nights are a very difficult time. A time we dread really. The unknown sleeping patterns of our sweet girl puts fear into our very hearts- dread into the core of our beings.
A wise woman we know asked me if we were having marriage problems, when I shared it had been a bad week- at first I said no- then I said "Well i guess you can say that, because at 4 in the morning when your toddler is screaming and refusing to sleep it quickly turns into a marriage problem"

Of course around this time of a year people think of things they want to change in their lives. Habits, attitudes, goals for self improvement, weight loss, ect ect ect.  And while I am not a big of resolutions cause I never keep them-
what if
-instead of cursing TS for the trouble it has caused in our lives-
-instead of feeling like an inadequate parent for Emmaus in the middle of the night cause I am furious she is awake (again)
-instead of feeling ungrateful for the blessings we have received this year because I am constantly complaining about my kid being up for hours at a time overnight usually fussing.
-instead of fighting with my husband in the wee hours of the morning.
-instead of barely making it till dawn.

WHAT IF- I can just align my heart to our worship song at church tonight.

"We wait for you to come and show your glory here tonight"

I know I will still be tired, the nights will still be long. I will still hate TS and the havoc it wreaks on our lives- but I think choosing to know God cares even at 4am. That he is working even at 4 am. I think that maybe this "realignment" can change my nights into at least less dreadful times than they are now- if not even times of joy. Extra time to love and pray for my child to wait expectantly for Gods glory to come.



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