Something is brewing with Emmaus and I don't like it. She is off. Her mind is off. She is grumpy- which never happens, she is sleeping all the time. She's off. I don't know if it's meds, or seizure activity that we are missing, or a big seizure brewing, or even something simple- things I tend to over look. But I feel like we are in the eerie grey calm that happens before a huge storm. I hope I'm wrong. I hope it is just teething- that would be AWESOME! I feel like thinks have been really good lately, so I am thankful for that good stretch of time- and I am hoping this is something simple and not a big deal, but my gut tells me to watch her like a hawk.
Sometimes I wonder what lessons we are learning here.
Are we learning resilience? Or survival? Or that things could always be worse?
Are we learning dependence on something/someone greater than ourselves?
It just seems that life's lessons are being taught somewhat harshly lately.
To us, to others around us, to friends, and family. HARSH.
It is wearing, and heartbreaking, and it seems to be never ending.
I know it will end. I know IN THE END there will be no more sickness, or death, or pain.
And that gives me hope. It gives me strength.
I am thankful for that hope tonight. I'm also hoping miss Emmaus wakes up herself, and sunshiny as ever!