Pain and Joy

Today we had Emmaus' first birthday party. And while I thought I would be sharing all the great pictures of her beautiful party and wonderful memories, tonight something else is on my mind. (I will share the pictures and memories tomorrow or the next day) But tonight as I sit in my room I am drawn to share something else.
It has been a hard year. A year full of amazing joy and much much more challenge that I thought I could handle. But tonight I once again am overwhelmed by how beautifully and seamlessly joy and pain can live together. Today we got to celebrate Emmaus. The beautiful life she has, the joy that she brings to so many and what a blessing she is in our lives, yet at the same time milestones are hard for me. I am painfully aware today (as I will be on tuesday) of where my sweet girl is verses where she should be. I am sad that she has so many struggles, I am sad that she has so many ahead. But at the same time I am so thankful for her, and I had a fun time celebrating her today. My best friend and her husband and their little girl stayed after the party today. And while we played with her daughter and watched them interact- I was so sad for mine. Or maybe I should just say I was sad for me-because that probably is more honest. Yet at the same time I am so proud of what Emmaus is doing, who she is and how much she is changing and growing. Joy and Pain- so intertwined I can hardly separate them.
I am thankful to have good friends and their great kiddos that love us and Emmaus so well. It was a wonderful day filled with so much joy and so many smiles.
Emmaus loves to smile. Brings joy to the mama's heart.

Love, La


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