Goodbye little house

Yesterday, I spent most of the early afternoon cleaning the Reinhardt house. It was a very weird feeling to have my home completely empty. As our cleaning came to a close I started getting a little emotional.
I am so excited for a new adventure in our new house. But to stand in our first REAL house and have every word I said echo off the empty walls felt so sad. That is the house I brought my baby home to. It holds the sweetest and the most bitter memories of my life thus far. It is a place I cried many tears, learned that God's plan is much bigger than mine and that trusting him would not be the easy road. It is the place I learned the sound of my daughters laugh, that love is more powerful than any diagnosis or hurdle and that I can do hard things.
I couldn't help but think of the people that have lived in that home before, or the couple that is moving in this weekend. About stories that have been lived out in that home. The secrets those walls must keep. That home will be a sacred place in my hearts memory. I get emotional because that house is where I fell completely apart and began to rebuild my life again. 
I left my key on the counter, packed up my cleaning supplies, and pulled out of the driveway and I cried. Cried for the joy of feeling Emmaus kick for the first time as we played games with friends around the coffee table. Cried for the heartbreak of finding out Emmaus would have TSC. I cried for the wonderful memories of birthday parties, small groups, and friends gathered in that small space. I cried for the last moments Dan and I shared as a couple of two, ignorant to life without children. I cried for all the "firsts" we had in that home and all the "lasts".
I will miss that little house. 
Love, La


  1. I am so sorry for your sorrow but happy for your joy...on the up side...your husband just called (I am watching Em this am) and said "we are on our way". Not sure I can get this post done before he gets here! Love you!


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