Dragon mom
So a good friend sent me THIS article. READ IT. It is written by a mom who has a son with Taysachs disease- who won't live to see his third birthday. It is a very raw, real, and sad article. And although Emmaus' doesn't necessarily have a terminal (God willing) disease. I can really relate with much of what the mother is saying.
I love these sections-
NOBODY asks dragon parents for advice; we’re too scary. Our grief is primal and unwieldy and embarrassing. The certainties that most parents face are irrelevant to us, and frankly, kind of silly. Our narratives are grisly, the stakes impossibly high. Conversations about which seizure medication is most effective or how to feed children who have trouble swallowing are tantamount to breathing fire at a dinner party or on the playground. Like Dr. Spock suddenly possessed by Al Gore, we offer inconvenient truths and foretell disaster.
and this
I can see my reflection in his greenish-gold eyes. I am a reflection of him and not the other way around, and this is, I believe, as it should be. This is a love story, and like all great love stories, it is a story of loss. Parenting, I’ve come to understand, is about loving my child today. Now. In fact, for any parent, anywhere, that’s all there is.
Emmaus is changing me, as I'm sure having kids changes all parents- however- she isn't just changing my responsibility level, or my sleep level. She is changing my character. I am super competitive by nature and she is changing that. If she was "normal" (I kinda hate that word) and not rolling, not putting weight on her legs, not grasping toys I think I would be frustrated. CAN YOU IMAGINE?!? I am admitting I would be frustrated that she wasn't developing fast enough- that my friends babies are doing "better" & more tricks than she is. I would be putting her in every program available to make her the BEST (cough...tiger mom). However, having Emmaus has taken out the competition. It has made me proud of the accomplishments she's making. It has made me slow down & enjoy the simple things in life. This week I hung out with a friend who's son is 2 weeks older than Emmaus. The kid is ADVANCED. He is so strong! He stood (with mama's help) and was grabbing stuff off there coffee table! Very soon he will be independently sitting. He was playing with a teething ring. Seeing it across the blanket, reaching for it and grabbing it & in a very coordinated mannor bring it to his mouth and chewing on it. His movements were very coordinated. And then next to him was Emmaus. I have no doubt if she was a "normal" baby I would have been thinking "WHY ISN'T SHE DOING THIS STUFF!" However instead I was impressed with my friends son and impressed with my daughter. She was sitting (in my lap) so well that day! She was being very strong keeping her trunk and neck up most of the time. She was cracking us up with her constant chatter and raspberries. I am thankful that God has given me the gift of perspective. I hate that it is in the form of TSC and that it affects us daily, but thankful for the perspective.
This little girl is changing me. Shaping me. Making me a decent human being. And I'm thankful for her joyful, bubbly, verbal self.
That's all for now.
Happy Saturday
Love, La
I love these sections-
NOBODY asks dragon parents for advice; we’re too scary. Our grief is primal and unwieldy and embarrassing. The certainties that most parents face are irrelevant to us, and frankly, kind of silly. Our narratives are grisly, the stakes impossibly high. Conversations about which seizure medication is most effective or how to feed children who have trouble swallowing are tantamount to breathing fire at a dinner party or on the playground. Like Dr. Spock suddenly possessed by Al Gore, we offer inconvenient truths and foretell disaster.
and this
I can see my reflection in his greenish-gold eyes. I am a reflection of him and not the other way around, and this is, I believe, as it should be. This is a love story, and like all great love stories, it is a story of loss. Parenting, I’ve come to understand, is about loving my child today. Now. In fact, for any parent, anywhere, that’s all there is.
Emmaus is changing me, as I'm sure having kids changes all parents- however- she isn't just changing my responsibility level, or my sleep level. She is changing my character. I am super competitive by nature and she is changing that. If she was "normal" (I kinda hate that word) and not rolling, not putting weight on her legs, not grasping toys I think I would be frustrated. CAN YOU IMAGINE?!? I am admitting I would be frustrated that she wasn't developing fast enough- that my friends babies are doing "better" & more tricks than she is. I would be putting her in every program available to make her the BEST (cough...tiger mom). However, having Emmaus has taken out the competition. It has made me proud of the accomplishments she's making. It has made me slow down & enjoy the simple things in life. This week I hung out with a friend who's son is 2 weeks older than Emmaus. The kid is ADVANCED. He is so strong! He stood (with mama's help) and was grabbing stuff off there coffee table! Very soon he will be independently sitting. He was playing with a teething ring. Seeing it across the blanket, reaching for it and grabbing it & in a very coordinated mannor bring it to his mouth and chewing on it. His movements were very coordinated. And then next to him was Emmaus. I have no doubt if she was a "normal" baby I would have been thinking "WHY ISN'T SHE DOING THIS STUFF!" However instead I was impressed with my friends son and impressed with my daughter. She was sitting (in my lap) so well that day! She was being very strong keeping her trunk and neck up most of the time. She was cracking us up with her constant chatter and raspberries. I am thankful that God has given me the gift of perspective. I hate that it is in the form of TSC and that it affects us daily, but thankful for the perspective.
This little girl is changing me. Shaping me. Making me a decent human being. And I'm thankful for her joyful, bubbly, verbal self.
That's all for now.
Happy Saturday
Love, La
I love this. My dad always says we need to "TREAT our kids like we won't have them tomorrow and TRAIN them like they won't have us tomorrow." I think having a child with an illness or disability must put that into perspective in a way that parents of "normal" children can take for granted. Love you. You're such a good mama.
ReplyDeleteLove this! Praying over you friend.
ReplyDeleteYesterday morning I saw your video and laughed and laughed....this morning I read your blog and cried....I think I like the laughing part better! Regardless, I am so proud of you and Dan and the growth I see and the loving you show. I love you all with all my heart and am proud of the wonderful, sweet grandaugher I have!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a good momma. Love you and adore your sweet baby girl.
ReplyDeleteLove this so much. You are such an amazing momma. I have converted some of my friends to be readers of your blog (I don't think they are followers, though. I hate that! I know people are reading, but we have like, 30 friends. We are pathetic! Okay, not you, but I am!) and they are praying for little one and you/Dan. They love to stalk you, as do I! I need to write about more interesting things.... I can sit at work and read your old posts for hourrsss!
ReplyDelete