May Sixth

We all have significant dates in our lives we remember. Birthday’s, Anniversaries, National Dates of celebration or tragedies. May 6th is one of the days for me. It is significant in a lot of ways but mainly it marks a major turning point for my life. It is the day I decided I was worth something and that I would let myself be loved. I would no longer chase love. I would not longer try to save another person by loving them endlessly without being loved in return or protecting myself from harm. May 6th 2006 was the beginning of a long- and I mean LOOOONNNNNNGGGG road that would lead me to a healthy life again. Starting that day and in the months that followed I began to let God love me again. To believe what He said about me. That I am wanted, that I am worth it, and mainly that I am loved. Loved unconditionally, without reserve, and that His love is just waiting for me to let it penetrate my heart & life. I know now that I had to let God love me before I would ever be able to let others into my life and love me.
I remember thinking I may die on that day, and in the weeks and months that followed. I sure felt like I was dying of a broken heart, of hopes that were promised and spoken of so freely but were done so without any guarding of my heart.
I guess truly a little bit of death is exactly what I needed. I needed to die to my very broken, messed-up self and let God take over. So even thought I fought it and strayed so many times the loving goodness of my savior was patient and faithful and finally I begin to follow instead of resist.
So I guess I just wanted to remember today. May 6th. As an anniversary of letting myself be loved, of new, genuine, and honest relationships and of the reality that unless I let God love me FIRST the love of others will always fall short. It is an anniversary of new beginnings.
I am so thankful that these new beginnings included meeting my husband and letting him show me faithful, honest, unwavering love. Christ-like love.
I am thankful for renewed relationships and openness with friends.
And lastly- I am thankful for this baby girl. I pray that she too will know the goodness and faithfulness of Jesus Christ and that she feel his love from a very young age.
Love, La

Comments

  1. So beautifully put:) Love this post, Love you!!

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  2. Aw, Laurisa! Love your words, love you! God is pretty awesome in how He works...And, I miss you!

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