Have no other Gods before me.

It has been a long week. I am tired and emotionally tired with all that is going on in our little family. All week I have been praying that God take care of/heal Dan. That his BP would go back to normal. I have been feeling alone in dealing with all this, not because people haven't called, just cause how to do you explain that you fears to people? I want my husband to live a healthy long life with me. I want my kids to know their father. I know what high blood pressure, especially extremely high BP does do your body and life span. So last night at church during worship I was "dialoging with God" about why this is happening to us? And the answer I got is "just trust me" so then of course I say to God "I AM TRUSTING YOU!!!" then in a calm quiet voice I heard- "No, like Abraham trusted me" then I was quiet. 

At an old Age God went to Abraham and told him to leave his people and move to the "promise land" And Abraham Went...no questions.

When Abraham and his wife were Barren God promised to make him the father of many nations, and that his decendants would be more numerous than the stars in the sky.  And he didn't question. It actually states that Abraham laughed at himself at the thought of him having a child at such an old age. Not laughed at God, but at himself. 

Then when he had a son through Hagar God told him that wasn't the promised one....No questions. 

Then when Issac is finally born God asks Abraham to take him son and offer him as a living sacrifice to God....AND ABRAHAM DIDNT QUESTION. Now of course God stopped abraham from sacrificing Issac- but God wanted to test Abraham to see if Abraham still would put God before all his earthly "possessions".

Dan and I have started tithing. Giving God 10% of our income. But somehow I missed the fact that it doesn't stop there. Everything in this earth belongs to God. And I have to trust him/give him what is his. Not only my life, but the lives of those who I care about. I think it is easy for us to say here God take our first fruits, take all this stuff- but (insert name/person here) is mine. Dan is my person, I care more about him than anyone/anything else...so it is very hard for me to say okay God- He is yours. I TRUST YOU. With whatever path you have for him. And I know that no matter what happens you have a plan for our lives and will never leave us or stop taking care of us. 

God required so much of Abraham...I have one single test and fall apart. 

God is Good and Faithful.